This is my fried Twinkie. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
I went to a quaint collection of outdoor merchants I thought of as a flea market, but that my sister and her husband referred to as The Dirt Mall. You can get a lot of things at the dirt mall and I will talk about some of the other things later. Right now, I only wanna talk about the fried Twinkie.
One of the great things about The Dirt Mall is the extensive PA system set up to allow friendly reminders of things, like how it's the birthday of some person you never heard of, when the next session of Mumbletypeg would start and what food stuffs were available for consumption throughout the compound.
During one of these latter type announcements, the woman on the speaker said the magical words, fried Twinkie. A fried Twinkie is one of those things I've seen on food and travel networks as a culinary oddity. I thought it sounded disgusting. So, when I heard over the PA that they were available, I immediately had to have one.
Actually, I didn't immediately had to have one. I wanted to have one while we were there, but my sister was trying hard to do whatever she could to make me happy. As soon as I mentioned that I wanted to try one, that was it. We were on a mission.
We stopped at I think five different food dispersal units, all of them offering to deep fry one thing or another, but not Twinkies. We kept getting re-directed to the next food dispersal unit.
Eventually we stumbled across the right booth. I asked the lady for a fried Twinkie and a couple of drinks. She scuttled off, then showed up again and got the drinks. I paid, and she took care of the next two parties who wanted drinks. I was like, "When are you gonna fry mah damned Twinkie!?"
What I didn't know is that mah damned Twinkie was being fried the entire time. Some amount of minutes soaking up that good wholesome liquid greasefat had passed.
She fished it out of the bubbling grease and coated the top with powdered sugar, just in case a deep fried Twinkie was not as bad for me as I had been hoping for.
I picked it up by it's hot stick and experienced some trepidation. But not a lot. I fully expected it to be horrible and was looking forward to really not liking it, then being able to write about how much I didn't like it.
Hoo, boy. Sometimes, I just don't know what I'm talking about at all. Sometimes I am wrong, but other times I am so amazingly wrong that I don't know how I ever manage to be right ever.
A deep fried Twinkie is one of the best tasting things I have ever had. It was thoroughly awesome and I ate the crap outta it. While I was eating it I was going, "Yum! Oh my GOD! Oh, this is so good! Mmmmmm! Yummmy! Yum yum for my tum tum!"
Maybe I wasn't saying all of those things. I'm not sure. I got a little blurry with love. I may be mis-remembering. I may have asked the fried Twinkie to move in with me. I'm not sure.
I know I loved that damned fried Twinkie and while I wouldn't recommend having one more than say, once between leap years, I do recommend having one at least once.
Get it somewhere in the south though. During the summer. It's more pleasant to eat while sweating into your eyeballs.
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