Travelogue of my trip to Georgia 4

As you travel either up or down 95 through the Carolinas you will bombarded by billboards and you will be thankful for them because there is not a lot of anything else to look at. A great many of these billboards will be for South of the Border, which I will discuss in an upcoming post, and a great many will be for J*R Outlets.
J*R Outlets have ingenious billboards that say things like, "Are you tired of paying through the NOSE?" with a big picture of a nose. Clever, right?
Also advertised is the fact that along with J*R Outlets which promises to have items of every kind imaginable at insanely discounted prices, there is also a Carhart outlet.
I am a fan of Carhart and need to replace one of my 17 black zip up sweatshirts. I thought, "An outlet? Perfect! I can buy one of those things that I want there!"
Mostly, I think, it was the survival mechanism of my brain kicking in and saying find a reason, ANY reason, to get out of the car.
So we went there. I did not find a replacement Carhart black sweatshirt, but I did find a large black sweatshirt with a cartoon skull and crossbones on the front. It's neat.
This is not a story about my new sweatshirt. This is a story about J*R Outlet or Outlets or whatever.
J*R Outlet(s) smells funky. You get hit in the face with this funk as soon as you open the door. It's a warehouse funk. There is an undertone of something else in the funk, but it's not immediately recognizable as it is melange'ed in with the rest of the stinks.
We walked through the aisles of just all kinds of stuff. Like, giant puppets and Tupperware knock-offs and books written by George Foreman.
I went to the bathroom, because they had one. There was a cop sitting in a little cop booth right outside the bathroom, to keep people from shoplifting the George Foreman books, probably.
When I came out of the bathroom, my niece was in a conversation with the police office and someone who worked at the store. Right away it seemed like something was going down, though I could not place what it was.
Then, I noticed my niece had a lit cigarette in her hand, inside the store.
I was just about to say, "Hey. Put out the cigarette, because that's obviously why the store worker and the police officer are looking at you in that way!", when it was explained to me that we had somehow walked into the store with merchandise from some other store and now me and the merchandise had to be walked out of the store by the store worker so no one would think we had shoplifted what ever it was even though it was clearly tagged as having come from Wal-Mart.
I was like, "Fine. Let's go. It's stinky in here anyway."
So the dude walked me out.
On the way out of the store, and mind you this is a large store, so there was more than enough time to have this conversation, I said to the dude, "I thought you were talking to my niece about having that cigarette lit. You can smoke in here?"
He said, "What? Whatchoomean can you smoke in here? You see all the ash tray garbage can things?"
I said, "Well, yeah. I see them. But I thought they were for, like garbage and stuff. Not smoking."
He looked at me like I was a crazy person. "Son", he said (for real he said that)"Don't you know what we sell in here?"
"You sell all kinds of cr.... stuff in here."
"Yes, but what do we sell the most of in here?"
I was quickly losing interest in the conversation and really didn't feel like being quizzed any more by this guy. So I didn't say anything. I assumed he would answer his own question.
"Cigars! Cigarettes! Tobacco!", he said, answering his own question. "We sell all that stuff in here so of COURSE you can smoke! HA! Haaaaahaha!"
As we walked along, and like I said this is a really big store so there was time for this too, he kept laughing to himself going, "Can you smoke in here? Oh, ho ho! Ha! HAHAAA! Woo! Man."
I wish he had worked in a gun store.